Mike & Trisha Fox with Marriage for Today
Rarely is there a topic so heated, so passionate, so
debated especially among Christians that it not only continues to grow beyond
hot embers into a full scale raging fire, but actually thrusts beyond the topic
itself into the realm of “Parental Rights.” The topic in case you haven’t
guessed is spanking, or more accurate termed Biblical training or Discipline.
Unfortunately, during the worst economic times ever in our
history as a nation, and the incredulous attacks against all Christian values
which include God's traditional marriage between one man and one woman,
abortion and outright public discrimination against Christians near and far, we
are faced with an alarming trend of radical, liberalism - and one main attack
is against our basic, fundamental principles of child rearing, namely biblical
discipline, or spanking as it is commonly referred to.
In Bible times, these topics of child rearing (along with
a myriad of other Biblical vs. Secular issues) were actually non-issues. The
biblical founders took the Word of God at face value that scripture was
scripture and those that try to re-interpret scriptures were also scripturally
declared liars (Proverbs
30:5-6), or simply wrestling scriptures to their own destruction. (2nd
Peter 3:16)
However, the topic of biblical spanking has reached such a
peak in debate and conversation, that it is actually time for Christians to
make the case as to what biblical training is and is not. Approximately 95% of
all liberal media outlets, the same media outlets that are driven to squash
Christianity and our current conservative value system, is also "spinning"
almost in entirety the views and perspectives of physically disciplining and
training our children. If we do not let our voices be heard and truth be told,
this, along with basic religious freedoms will be taken away from us as we are
seeing at an alarming rate. (See www.parentalrights.org)
The debate is on! - First let’s deal with the myths and
lies.
Recently we were guests on The Anderson Cooper Show along
with their main guest, Rev. Michael Pearl as well as a guest that they
flew in from California.
We were very clearly and specifically told over the phone,
that they wanted us to come on the show live, and be guests to show support for
principles and teachings by Rev. Michael and
Debbie Pearl of No Greater Joy
Ministries, especially those principles stemming from their first, yet
controversial book, “To Train Up a
Child.”
When we got into New York via Amtrak, we were taken well
care of without a doubt. However, when we got to the studio, it was an entirely
difference scene altogether.
We were specifically told over the phone that they wanted to
talk about Rev. Pearl and his book, but as we sat watching the show before
preparing to take the stage, we saw in horror how the entire show was twisted,
or “spun” as they say to attack any position outside of the anti-spanking
perspective.
While we were told it was going to be a fair and balanced
discussion, we watched time and time again as Anderson Cooper and everyone else
on the show habitually cut off Rev. Pearl as he was trying to answer
emotionally charged, biased questions.
In fact, one cameo from an outside Sheriff went as far as to
suggest that Michael & Debbie Pearl’s book was a sole conduit of extreme
abuse linking them and their book to brutal acts of murders simply because they
read their book and misused practices.
Is and Is Not!
We must by all means necessary understand exactly what
spanking is and is not. To not thoroughly learn is to go against the word of
God because it clearly states, “Study
to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed,
rightly dividing the word of truth.” (2nd Timonthy 2:15 –KJV)
Biblical spanking, or as our bible calls it, “chastisement”,
is not beating, hitting or slapping. According to Merriam-Webster, spanking is simply
defined as, “: to
strike on the buttocks with the open hand
- spank noun. ”
- spank noun. ”
Opposition to Spanking
Problem number one with many who “oppose” Biblical training
is simply that; they “oppose” it – for a number of reasons but the majority of
reasons are not based on biblical understanding, but personal experiences, to
which most have been a negative one.
And so they without thorough and proper “rightly dividing
the truth”, they simply connect the two; proper biblical training and negative
experiences.
It’s the same when one comes to God and receives the life
changing message of Jesus Christ – then when the church or the messenger of the
“Good News” hurts them, they automatically equate the “messenger and the
message” and fail to separate the two. This is absolutely true and we have seen
this countless times – and this principle applies exactly the same to those
who’ve had “bad experiences” with improper discipline as well as “bad
experiences” with church or Christianity.
As Rev. Michael Pearl accurately writes on their site No Greater Joy Ministries, “The
people who condemn Biblical chastisement do not believe the Bible. They judge
others by their own experience. The only time they have “hit” their children,
or been tempted to, was when they were angry. They assume that when we spank it
is with the same hostility they have felt.”
As well, it is incredulous to believe something simply
because a majority believes it. If we’re Christians and we apply this same
principle to Evolution, than most Christians should believe in Evolution and
not Creationism. Or that same-sex marriage is fine, or that the Virgin birth is
a hoax, or on and on. Majority does not matter; only the Bible is our
foundation and what it has to say.
If we try to align the Bible to our philosophy, we are in
danger of “wrestling
the scriptures to our own destruction.”
Also notate, that the majority of the opposition does not
come from those duly learned in scriptures, but from mostly secular
Psychologist, Child Advocates (which are rarely biblical advocates), and
liberal Christians which oppose a lot more conservative points of view on
Christianity in general – know your source and research its roots!
Is this the “crowd” you truly want to be in line with? If
the enemy, the world, and secular humanistic followers are against it – chances
are fairly high that it’s the right place to be and the right principle to
stand for.
False Research that Spanking Causes Harm
It was interesting the learn that a large number of
Psychologists, analysts and the majority of opposition to spanking loved to
quote a lot of other Psychologists and analysts. Their supposed “research”
usually falls into two categories: Meta-Research and Correlation-Based
Research.
Meta-Research simply means that it is research based off of
other’s research, which is by no means an accurate reflection on direct
results. In fact, in many cases, the research based on another’s research often
continues its origin until you find that it is highly plausible that the
initial research was in fact not accurate or contingent upon other factors
completely skewed and distant from the latest intended quote!
In other words, it may not amount to a hill of beans in true
assessment!
The other is Correlation-Based research. This means that it is research based off
of other’s experiences that pertain to the same topic in question. However -
and this is very important to understand – most of the experiences that the
research is based on has a high number of contributing factors that have either
nothing or very little to do with the actual content the research is based off
of.
An example research by go like
this: Studies find that Bananas
are actually not good for you, but can be deadly and dangerous to eat. Recently
deaths have been linked to Bananas and Food Critics argue that Americans need
to be aware of this and throw all bananas away.
The reality – this research and
study was based off of a study of 100 people who ate bananas. Out of these 100
people, 14 were allergic to fruit and 25 ate the banana peel with the banana,
thereby causing a physical sickness that if not treated, could be fatal.
Do you see how this works? A very large number of
Correlation-Based statistics finding that Spanking was bad, harmful or causes
negative internal emotional damage was constructed in this type of research environment. If you “go to the
source”, you’ll easily find that the majority of cases where professionals cite
instances where spanking supposedly caused harm, you’ll find that it was not
administered properly and in most cases the administration of biblical
discipline was abused, thereby making the spanking of none effect – or negative
effect.
Some try to throw away the baby with the bathwater!
Rev. Pearl writes this, “Misuse
of the rod does not invalidate its proper application.”
Indeed, simply because one misuses a tool that is meant for
a positive result, does not invalidate, discount or abolish the tool itself.
Think of a power drill or hammer, a tool, but Crime Statistics show how these
tools have been used for harm and endangerment. Do we throw away our power
drills and hammers simply because of the misuse of a few? Absurd.
Wrongly linked to abuse
“Creationists.org gives this instruction regarding the false
accusations of abuse when administering biblical discipline, “Many secular "experts", including most
pediatricians, psychiatrists and psychologists have come out strongly against
the use of corporal discipline in homes and in schools. Unfortunately,
many well-meaning parents have been deceived by the foolish advice of the
"don't spank" crowd. It has been my personal experience that
people who consider all forms of corporal discipline to be "abuse" or
"hitting" or "violence" mislead others in the following
ways:
- They often quote studies where actual abuse is occurring, not ones where biblical corporal discipline was administered out of love for the child. In fact, I have never seen a study of the latter.
- They always ignore what their Creator has to say on the matter, or are ignorant of it. If they claim to be Christians, they approach their bible study on this matter doing eisegesis instead of exegesis. As a result they end up engaging in all kinds of flawed bible interpretation in an attempt to try to force the Bible to support what they believe.
- They place a higher value on secular studies and fallible doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists instead of obeying the advice of the infallible God who created all of them, and who demands of us that we do things His way.
- They misrepresent what the Bible says on the topic, often because they don't really know what it actually says. When they do quote Christians in an effort to prove the Bible supports them, they will often quote misguided liberal Christians instead of quoting orthodox Christians who don't agree with them.” (http://www.creationists.org/corporal-discipline.html - eisegesishttp://www.creationists.org/corporal-discipline.html)
Indeed, from the liberal courts which are practically
anti-Christian in nature, to the secular world-view where denying every lust
and desire from a child is almost considered hate-filled abuse, there is a
viable war raging against those who spank and those who do not.
Playing the “abuse” card
It should be an obvious thing, but we are compelled to say
this to avoid misrepresentation or accusation of such incredulous ignorance – We
do not, nor should any Christian support, condone or allow any abuse, whether
child, spousal or church/spiritual. We have held certifications for being
Mandatory Abuse Reporters. That being said, let’s proceed to the antithesis of
abuse – the abuse of manipulating Christians using “abuse” and an “excuse”!
Not too long ago, we learned of a secret marketing strategy
by Abercrombie and Fitch to increase sales, and how almost nobody that shops
there even realizes what’s going on behind the scenes.
They expressed how they purposefully create a “party
atmosphere” to cater to the young and push out the older customers. The main
reason is because they are trying to drive up sales by “impulsive shopping.”
And to do this, they pump up the volume, usually have some fragrance going, and
have their lights and décor setup to attract the young buyers.
In doing this, with loud, bold pumping party music, they
found that this actually desensitizes their reasoning factors, therefore
lessening their ability to think. This in turn, allows the loud atmosphere to
appeal to their emotions and senses. And, of course, they are in tune with it
all and buy more and spend more!
This is how the secular, liberal crowd uses their strategy
by loudly, boldly pumping their beats by using the “abuse card.”
It his home with caring parents, especially mothers, and drives it deep
to where they are desensitized to reason and biblical understanding.
While real abuse does happen, unfortunately all too often,
even in Christian homes, the opponents of spanking almost always try to somehow
link any form of discipline to the actual crime.
This grabs the emotions of the audience, reels them in, and
plays off their sympathy while shredding their God-given reasoning ability. And
they do this loudly, boldly and with emotion and passion. And unfortunately, it
works – a lot.
Columnists Ned & Maria of Christiandomesticdiscipline.com
has this to say about our emotions being manipulated by the world and it’s
perspectives, “We
need to renew our minds first by reading and understanding of the Bible and
turning away from a nonchristian culture. Until our mind is renewed, we cannot
trust our emotions 100% since they ARE at times wrong. Some people will be lost
forever because believing in Jesus did not 'feel' right. Christians sometimes
do blatant evil because it 'felt' like it was ok. Be careful!”
When it comes to the abuse factor, Bible.com’s author and columnist Betty Miller
has this to say, “Some people say that
all spanking is child abuse, but this is totally wrong. The real abuse to the
child is not to spank them when they need correction. “
Dr. Bill Maier, vice president and psychologist in residence
with Focus on the Family reports on OneNewsNow, a highly ranked Christian News
& Review Organization, “Appropriate disciplinary spanking, done in the
context of a loving parent-child relationship, is not abusive.” He goes on to
say, "If it's done in a loving context, if it's followed up by an
explanation, there is no evidence that it would harm their self-esteem,"
he explains. "In fact, we have some evidence that kids who grow up in an
extremely permissive environment, in which there are no boundaries, no limits,
and no guidelines, ...have a great deal of difficulty with their self-esteem --
and particularly later on in life, because they have such a sense of
entitlement that basically the world owes them everything on a silver
platter."
Dr. Maier actually reports that the American College of Pediatricians agrees that
disciplinary spanking of young children is actually an effective tool for
parents.
So, What Does the Bible Really Say About Spanking?
A lot, actually. We recommend reading 8
Misconceptions about Biblical Spanking on Learnthebible.org by Author David
Reagan.
The following are scriptures that absolutely clear any
question if biblical training and discipline is scriptural. And while there are those who either
oppose, argue or wrongly divide the word, it is what it is. The only time to
“re-interpret” scripture is when it is not literal, but figurative – and
scripture will give its own interpretation, not man.
Proverbs 13:24
Whoever refuses to spank his son hates him, but whoever loves his son disciplines him from early on.
Whoever refuses to spank his son hates him, but whoever loves his son disciplines him from early on.
Proverbs 23:13
Don't fail to discipline your children. They won't die if you spank them.
Don't fail to discipline your children. They won't die if you spank them.
Proverbs 23:14
Spank him yourself, and you will save his soul from hell.
Spank him yourself, and you will save his soul from hell.
Proverbs 19:18
Chasten (spank) thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
Chasten (spank) thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
Proverbs 29:17
Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.
Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.
Deuteronomy 8:5
Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the LORD your God disciplines you for your own good.
Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the LORD your God disciplines you for your own good.
Proverbs 29:15
A spanking and a warning produce wisdom, but an undisciplined child disgraces his mother.
A spanking and a warning produce wisdom, but an undisciplined child disgraces his mother.
Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is firmly attached to a child's heart. Spanking will remove it far from him.
Foolishness is firmly attached to a child's heart. Spanking will remove it far from him.
Hebrews 12:6
The Lord disciplines everyone he loves. He severely disciplines everyone he accepts as his child."
The Lord disciplines everyone he loves. He severely disciplines everyone he accepts as his child."
Hebrews 12:8
But if you are without discipline, of which all have been made partakers, then are you illegitimate, and not children.
But if you are without discipline, of which all have been made partakers, then are you illegitimate, and not children.
The Big Picture
One of the big pictures that is often left out, may actually
be one of the most important factors is this entire debate – the rights of the
parents.
In one recent decision by the liberal courts, Corpus Christi
Judge Jose Longoria, during the sentencing phase of Rosalina Gonzales, said:
"You don't spank children". This biased, liberal judge then ordered
the mother to serve five years' probation for a spanking that prosecutors
admitted did not involve a belt or leave bruises on the child.
Kelly Shackelford of Liberty Institute explains that
the decision is a clear abuse of the law and the Constitution. Kelly on record
states, “In this country, children are not children of the state. They're
children of the parents and the parents do have a right to reasonable
discipline including spanking," says the attorney. "So this is a
pretty clear abuse of authority and is something that people need to be aware
of -- that government officials don't have the right to this kind of bullying
of parents and families." (Source –
Charlie Butts / Onenewsnow.com )
Why so many Christians, especially parents do not see what’s
going on is beyond us.
There is an emerging, growing threat that plausibly can take
away the God given (and State given) rights from parents, and these
anti-Christian liberals are using any hot-topic they can to congregate those
falling pray to emotional manipulation. And one such topic is of course,
spanking.
Conclusion
Yes, there will always be those who desperately seek to
twist and turn, and forcibly try to reshape the scriptures to fit their
personal opinions and lifestyle, but we are confident that you as a reader are
clearly wanting to not only please God the way He has lovingly instructed us to
– but also teach and bring up your children to love God and you as parents.
When you see it from God’s point of view – and we should
always strive to do so although it’s not always easy or convenient – you will
be able to see God’s ultimate plan and destiny in your life, but more
importantly in your children’s lives.
The scriptures provided are not relegated to a particular
time period or era, they still hold true to this day. There has been no
scripture to nullify or cancel these out – they are active and alive to use and
implement in your home.
The only real issue is whether or not you agree with the
biblical precepts that are given to us in the Book.
This book is not a coupon-book, here to take only the things
that we like and that makes us “Feel good,” but if we believe the Bible “at
all,” we must believe the Bible “for all.”
Be encouraged, stand for the Lord and together we will
proclaim victory for the Lord and for us – and for our children!
Rev. Mike & Trisha Fox – Marriage for Today
Marriage Coaches, Authors, Speakers, Columnists &
Writers
www.marriagefortoday.com
foxfamily238@yahoo.com
